I wouldn’t fret too much regarding the news that Monopoly will be replacing cash with Visa-designed debit cards.
Now, I don’t want to go off on a rant here, but I think that the Parker Brothers don’t know their thimble from a hole in the ground if they think that replacing Monopoly money with debit cards is a good idea. Besides, what will Canadians use in their vending machines?
Our entertainment overlords at Hasbro are just setting us up for inflated prices for “Monopoly Classic”, when it makes its glorious return. They are already counting on us waxing nostalgic for getting paid in $1s and $5s when little Bobby saunters into the beautiful hotel you built at Casa Del Ventnor
Tedium, we hardly knew ye.
Besides, I don’t understand the parents that would buy a cashless Monopoly game to begin with. I mean, Monopoly is a little slice of traditional, old-time Americana. Just last night, we sat around our well-worn Monopoly game for hours. You know, the Bass Fishing Lakes Edition.
I hear that they also have one related to Las Vegas. Or maybe it was Atlantic City.
I forget.
These days, there is a special edition of the game for every movie, city, sports team, hobby, special interest, and topical skin condition. Obviously, brand integrity is not important to either of the Parker Brothers. Seriously, you could drop a half-packet of Splenda into a Big Gulp-sized cistern of coffee, and still have less dilution than the Monopoly brand. What gives, muchachos? I mean Peter Parker is obviously busy at night, but the other one, he has no excuse.
I was at the toy store the other day trying to buy Monopoly for my nephew. I had to ask the kid at the front desk where they kept the Monopoly edition of Monopoly. His answer: 1987.
This latest move is a pure unadulterated marketing move by Visa. I can already picture their commercial after the “Debit Card” Monopoly hits the stores:
- Board Game: $15
- Movie Rental: $4
- Zipping through the tedious parts of the board game so that you can put the kids to bed and watch the movie: Priceless
Family board games are all about the process of playing and spending time together, not Tivo-ing through the gameplay to get to the end. Plus, the swapping of cash among family members is a time-honored tradition. As well as a great (achoo!) way of teaching the youngins to wash their hands after handling money. You never know who touched it last.
At the end of the day, if little Mandy doesn’t grow up learning how to manage her own cash in the cocoon-like setting of the typical family Monopoly game (cheating, temper tantrums, and wicked accusations aside), she’ll end up like the other Bratz dolls dancing at the Community Chest.
You know, it’s that charming little joint at the corner of Baltic and Mediterranean Ave.
And evidently the last place in Atlantic City where Monopoly money still reigns.
Of course, that’s just my opinion, I could be wrong.
(With obvious apologies to Dennis)
Also, with apologies to Canada. I had never heard of the Monopoly/Canadian money analogy before this morning. But the line popped into my head and I had to run with it, eh?